Soccer thoughts: FIFA, Barcelona, and Canada’s first game at the Women’s World Cup

Many of my sportwatching days are spent pondering just how much there is wrong wth the NCAA and the NFL. However, for Roger Goodell (NFL’s head honcho) and Mark Emmert (NCAA’s head honcho), looking at FIFA and its legion of corrupt bureaucrats must be as comforting as it is for a slightly overweight person to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet: no matter how overweight you are, in one of those places, there will always be a fellow customer who outweighs you by at least 150 pounds. Well, in much the same way overweight people have all-you-can-eat buffets, Goodell and Emmert have FIFA and its former president Sepp Blatter, a man who makes them look like the NBA’s Adam Silver, and Adam Silver look like Nelson Mandela.

Blatter had to step away from his presidency a mere four days after his reelection, a perfect illustration of the saying that the night is always darkest before dawn. I, for one, was starting to wonder if he’d stay on and live until the age of 140 just to watch his detractors spew in a kettle of their own bile. In the end, of all the things that could have happened, it was an investigation by the FBI that sounded the end for the Swiss. The irony is delicious: as the comic John Oliver pointed out, it took the nation that gives the least bit of a shit about football to accomplish the one thing soccer fans were starting to think would never happen.

These next few months will be a revenge best served cold for fans, as the rats who took part in FIFA systemic corruption will start turning on each other just to get better deals when the authorities come asking questions. Already we have seen that the man who gave the FBI tangible information on Blatter and co. was Chuck Blazer, until recently FIFA’s most important American member. After it was revealed that then-FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke accepted a $10 million bribe as part of bidding for the horror show of a tournament that ended up being the 2010 World Cup, a leaked email confirmed what many suspected: Blatter himself was aware of the bribe (though it is argued, rather nonsensically, that this does not constitute involvement). And this weak, uber-crook and former head of CONCACAF Jack Warner promised heaps of evidence to bury Blatter and his friends.

Of course, this leaves us with more questions than answers, namely the prospective identity of Blatter’s replacement: UEFA’s Michel Platini comes to mind. Once pegged as Blatter’s eventual replacement, Platini is believed by many to have soured on the Swiss when he changed his mind about stepping aside for this year’s election. And when word of the FBI’s investigation got out, Platini was suddenly very swift in declaring that Blatter was bad for FIFA’s image.

Few would question Platini’s “qualifications” for the job, although voters would be wise to question if experience within FIFA governance is really such a good thing under the circumstances. Platini would be a new man in charge, sure, but exactly how much change would he bring about? Does electing him not constitute a risk of carrying on with the status quo? And if the new boss was someone newer, how would he deal with the many people who have no interest in seeing FIFA cleaned up?

Because let us make no mistake about it: if everyone involved with FIFA believed, as most Western soccer fans do, that Blatter was a nuisance and a force for all things bad in the sport, he would have been out of a job long ago. Blatter got to stay in charge because as wacky an orator and as much of a crook as he is, the Swiss is also a remarkable politician. His ability to build lasting strategic alliances with people who perhaps were not so concerned with corruption was second to none, and his replacement, whoever he is, will have to deal with Blatter’s allies. I would not trade places with this person for all the cannelloni in Italy.

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Barcelona wrapped their amazing treble season with a 3-1 win over Juventus in the Champions’ League final in Berlin to go along with the Copa Del Rey (highlighted by Lionel Messi’s second stupidly amazing goal in less than a month) and the league title. It is possible to become a little blasé about Barcelona’s recent sustained success (just ask all of England), but while the Catalans had pulled off a treble before, what amazed me about this year’s accomplishment is the way in which they did it.

In 2009, when Pep Guardiola took over FCB’s then-profoundly dysfunctional team, he lost his first game in charge against newly-promoted side Numancia, whose entire yearly wage bill was inferior to Lionel Messi’s yearly salary. But then, they morphed into a juggernaut and never really looked back, capping off their magical season with two emphatic wins: the first an 6-2 obliteration of Real Madrid at the Santiago Bernabeu, the second a comfortable victory against Manchester United in the Champions’ League final. At no point in the latter match did anyone think United had a chance. This was also the year when Messi officially took over alpha dog status at Barcelona from the departed Ronaldinho, though the Argentine had hinted at it the year before when Dinho was giving greater effort in the clubs than on the pitch.

This time, though, Barcelona could not have established their dominance in a more progressive manner. You would have been hard-pressed, at the Christmas break, to find a Spanish soccer fan who didn’t think Real Madrid were the league’s dominant team. The league title looked well in hand for Los Blancos, and a repeat victory in the Champions League. But as the injuries mounted for Madrid and the imbalance of their team started to show in the results’ column, Barcelona took the lead, never to surrender it again. But even when that happened, there was still something unconvincing about them. It was a side that, as many commentators noticed, didn’t show the dominance to which the Blaugrana had accustomed us in the recent past. The difference wound up being a positional change.

Since the departure of Samuel Eto’o and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Lionel Messi had settled into the role of “false nine,” which helped him amass the goal-scoring record we all know. Coach Luis Enrique, perhaps feeling his setup was not taking full advantage of the newly-acquired Luis Suarez, made a bold decision. He switched Messi back to the right wing, a position Messi played with devastating effectiveness in 2009, and moved Suarez to his more natural position of striker. The impact was instantaneous. The trio of Messi, Suarez and Neymar found another gear and combined for over 100 goals on the season. Unless all three show up on game day hung over, I can’t think of the tactical disposition that would allow a team to effectively defend all three.

People immediately began asking whether this Barcelona side was the greatest ever. For my money, the 2009 team still takes the cake. (The starting lineup: a front three of Eto’o at striker, Messi and Thierry Henry on his last great season manning the wings (unfair); a midfield three of Xavi and Iniesta in their prime plus Yaya Touré (Holy Shit !!!); a back four featuring Dani Alves having the greatest season of his career, Puyol still in playing shape, an emerging Piqué and a healthy Eric Abidal (wicked); Victor Valdez in his prime as the goalie.) The fact remains, however, that the 2014-15 front three might just be the most spectacular collection of attacking talent ever put together, and unless the defence completely falls apart, the front three should suffice to guarantee Barcelona continued excellence in the coming years.

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The Women’s World Cup has now begun. Canada squeezed a tight win against a China team that can park the bus like nobody’s business. Anybody can park the bus, but China combined this defensive tactic with a terrific pressing game that forced the Canadians to make very quick decisions with the ball, a task which Sinclair and co. rarely performed with the required effectiveness. By the second half, it looked as though Canada had given up altogether and decided to resort to punting the ball to its outnumbered forwards. You’re not going to win 4-0 against a team defending like this, but it is possible to create gaps by combining effective wing play with a quick, precision passing game.

For most of the game, Canada displayed neither. In fact, they could have conceded twice due to the appallingly atrocious passing of their back four. It was a shame too, because China showed no interest in creating anything on the offensive end, and did not deserve any kind of opportunity to put the ball in the back of the net.

It must be noted, however, that this Kadeisha Buchanan is going to be some player. At only 19, and still a student at West Virginia, she shut down any Chinese attacker who came her way with the ball with impressive athleticism and superior technique. Surely, Buchanan will be tested to a greater degree by New Zealand and the Netherlands, but Canada appears to have found the building block of its defence for years to come.

In the end, Canada’s goal came on a penalty from a call that some might call soft, but I would say was legitimate nonetheless. You can get away with some body-to-body contact (insert your inappropriate joke here) in the box, but an armbar such as the one the Chinese defender used on the Canadian attacker Leon will get much less leeway from the referee. Be that as it may, Canada will have to play much better, especially in the passing game, if they wish to have the kind of tournament the locals are hoping for.

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