It’s official: Brock Osweiler is the anti-quarterback. So pitiful was his level of play last year after signing a four-year, $72 million contract with $37 million guaranteed that the Texans and Browns worked out a fairly ground-breaking trade.
There are a few draft picks involved but, basically, it amounts to this: Houston gave Cleveland a second-round pick in this year’s draft in exchange for the Browns taking on Osweiler’s gargantuan contract. In a way, this is a win-win for both parties. The Arizona State product’s $16 million salary for next season is fully guaranteed, but Cleveland doesn’t care. It has so much cap room that it can afford to absorb the cap hit from Osweiler’s release. (Cleveland will… ahem… attempt to trade Osweiler, and will release him if they can’t find any suitors. Now that’s what I call leverage!) The Browns don’t care for or about Osweiler, which given their QB situation, is sadly revealing about the extent to which the Oz has turned off the rest of the NFL with his 2016 performance. What Cleveland really wanted was that second-round pick, and they basically got it for free, given that they have more cap room than they could possibly hope to use on free agents and draft picks.
Meanwhile, Houston gains significant cap flexibility and probably can make a move for Tony Romo without having to convince him to play for a discount (which Denver will have to do). Injury-prone or not, the soon-to-be former Cowboy will command top dollar in a league where Mike Glennon can make $15 million for a team that willingly released Jay Cutler.
Houston’s new-found cap room should now make them the favourite in the race to acquire Romo, unless he’s really hellbent on playing for Denver. The Broncos and Texans are remarkably similar: they have an interesting set of skill positions players but serious problems on the offensive line; they each have one of league’s two best defensive players anchoring a really good defensive unit; and they’ll both try to keep Romo’s contractual demands in check by arguing that they’re completely OK moving forward with the young quarterback they already have on their roster. To this argument, Romo’s people will correctly respond something along the lines of, “if that were completely true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
If I’m Romo, the Texans have a slight edge for two reasons. First, they can afford to pay him better. Denver’s approach has been to present the opportunity to play for them as a favour, and to say that they’d welcome Romo if he’ll agree to play for a discount in exchange for a better shot at winning. But is it actually a better shot? Denver had run defence issues last year, and they missed the playoffs because they play in what was suddenly a brutally competitive AFC West, which reminds me… Second, the Texans play in the AFC South. The Colts have a lot of money tied up with quarterback Andrew Luck and a lot more owed to average starters they painfully overrated at the time when they signed them. The Titans showed promise last season, but still have to take that next step. Meanwhile, of course, the Jaguars are a complete dumpster fire, and represent two Ws on the schedule before the season even begins. All this to say that, for a healthy Romo, playing for the Texans is a much easier road to home-field advantage in the playoffs than running through the Oakland-L.A-KC gauntlet twice.
Of course, Romo is the last quarterback you want to have on a team with a subpar offensive line, and so Houston might find itself wishing it still had that second-round pick it giftwrapped for the Browns to convince them to take the Osweiler contract off their books. This sort of trade might also become a semi-regular occurrence in the NFL, but for now, the Texans look bad for having to compete with the team from which they “pried away” Brock Osweiler a year ago in order to acquire his replacement.
While we’re here, I wish to take a moment to make fun of the first two truly awful contracts of this year’s free agency period. What makes them even funnier is that they were both given away by the same team. I’m looking at you, Miami Dolphins!!!
Kenny Stills was their third wideout last year, and he caught a career-high nine touchdowns. If that was their justification for giving him a $32-million contract with 20 of these millions guaranteed, I’d like to offer my services to be their next general manager. Who do they think they have on their hands, here? Emmanuel Sanders? All the advanced stats suggest Stills is in line for a regression next year, and the Dolphins traded three picks during the 2016 draft to come up and select Rutgers’ Leonte Carroo in the second round. Have they already labelled Carroo a bust?
Now, they’ve frozenhim out of any playing time barring injuries, and they’ll pay DeSean Jackson money for Stills, who’s unlikely to give them an appreciable return on their investment. And their bad judgement doesn’t stop there.
With the catastrophic failure of Mario Williams, their marquee free agent defensive lineman from last season, the Phins made sure they wouldn’t lose defensive end Andre Branch, who posted an honest 5.5 sacks in rotational duty last season. To keep Branch, they gave him a three-year, $27 million contract, which seems like a terrific move if you’ve had a head injury.
Now, the exact figures of the contract have yet to come out, and so the less guaranteed money, the less risky the deal. However, we’re talking nine million per year, a comically large sum, for a player who was a bust for the Jaguars before posting decent-but-not-great statistics playing next to Hall-of-Fame talents Ndamokung Suh and Cameron Wake.
Moreover, if the Dolphins plan on making Branch a starter next season, they’ll be reminded that he’s brutally undersized when it comes to holding up against the run, and that having to do so may wear him down and make him less effective on his pass rush.
These moves truly make you question what kind of team Mike Tannenbaum thinks he has here. Yes, the Dolphins made the playoffs, but it wasn’t because they were extremely good. They got a wild card spot no one else seemed to want, and they did so by going a striking 8-2 in one-score games. Sure, because that’s happening again…
Whatever you do, Miami, please don’t change! You are an endless source of entertainment.